“If you nourished your sexual life with all the excitements and adventures which love injects into sensuality, you would be the most potent man in the world. The source of sexual power is curiosity, passion. You are watching its little flame die of asphyxiation. Sex does not thrive on monotony. Without feeling, inventions, moods, no surprises in bed. Sex must be mixed with tears, laughter, words, promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all the spices of fear, foreign travel, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dancing, opium, wine. How much do you lose by this periscope at the tip of your sex, when you could enjoy a harem of distinct and never-repeated wonders?"
- Delta of Venus
We believe in daily pleasures of all sorts. Yes, it is nice to be reminded of these things, but frequent rituals of romance are really what keep us in check when it comes to romantic love. And so today - for the purpose of this conversation, when we think about love, we’re thinking about sex, and when we think about sex well... we're talking about it.
Which brings us to the question. What are you using The Balm for?
THE BALM FOR MASSAGE //
Let's be honest in admitting that most working couples, and probably parents especially - are not giving each other massages on a regular basis. Or maybe ever. The idea of giving each other a massage can actually feel a little awkward (maybe that's just me) but it’s definitely not something that feels particularly routine. I feel confident that if I took a poll this isn't happening on a regular basis for most people.
But why not? I think most of us can agree that massage feels amazing. The question as to why we torment ourselves and resist pleasure on a daily basis is beyond the scope of this article. And what actually is pleasure? I believe it’s mostly physical release. The opposite of the tightly wound variety of life most of us live in. This can be a bath, a workout, breathwork, an orgasm, or a massage, among other things... take your pick. Unfortunately, we tend to pick the quick and chemical fixes more frequently.
Massage is powerful. I believe we are only at the tipping point of understanding the value of human touch. Even with our own hands. Something so simple, that stimulates the lymphatic system and connects us to our senses is truly powerful. Not only is massage a great physical release, it is also a really powerful health tool. It stimulates circulation, improves organ function, reduces cortisol levels, and increases dopamine. AKA reduces stress. In Ayurveda the value of massage is well known - with abhyanga (self-massage) being at the top of the list for healing. Even writing about it, I can feel that powerfully soothing feeling of getting a massage.
If you're solo. Please don't stop yourself from self-massage on a daily basis. It is one of the most empowering and restorative things you can do. And if your coupled, introducing massage into your vibe feels really really good.
THE BALM FOR LUBE //
To be honest this idea was brought to our attention by our community. People asked us often if they could use The Balm for lube, or told me they were using it in that way. Mothers were using it for postpartum sex when everything felt new again, and friends who worked as doulas were suggesting its use to their clients.
The subject of lube can feel a little taboo. We know what lube is for, but we certainly don’t want our parents to know. It’s a little specific and the packaging is terrible. Let’s be honest in saying there is absolutely nothing sexy about the most lubes. Most brands look like you’re bringing a bottle of hand sanitizer to bed, and what’s in lube is even less sexy. Certain commercial brands of lubricant have been linked to infertility and the proliferation and spread of STD’s.
This might explain why a whopping 35% of women have never tried it, nor even considered it.
You don't have to worry about being ultra kinky. There are plenty of practical and healthful reasons that lube may be necessary. For many women dryness can be a major factor and can really kill your sex life. This can be caused by any number of reasons - hormonal changes, lack of foreplay, stress, medication, etc. And even if you’re all good in that area, there’s nothing wrong with a little additional glide. The use of lube helps make things work and feel better and can help prevent general irritation... and... It helps make frequent sex more comfortable and pleasurable. It's a win-win for keeping things healthy and fun!
Lube doesn’t really need to be just about the mechanics of sex either. Using a safe product like The Balm as lubricant can really just be something nice that smells good and feels good and makes it all a little sexier.
Of course, we can't stress the importance of trying The Balm on your skin first. Although our essential oils are highly diluted - everyone is different.
Finding those ahhhh moments, where we naturally release and breathe a little more peacefully should be more frequent. Whether it be sex or massage, The Balm can help make it more enjoyable and we hope your inspired to spread the love around a little more frequently.
*Oil based lubes are NOT compatible with condoms nor do they prevent STD’s
Photo credit: Dainis Graveris